How are you doing?
A reflective post.
Why is it that when someone asks, ‘how are you?’, we immediately respond with, ‘Good, thanks’, even though we could be feeling sad, angry, or depressed. It could be a store clerk asking how your day is going or the Starbucks barista asking how you are before you order, and we are so inclined to respond ‘Good, thanks’. There have been times when I've pulled up to a drive-through or in a store and they ask how am I, and I'm not in the mood to answer or I'm not doing good, but I don't know what else to say, as they are just doing their job and they are not my therapist to vent about how awful my morning was. So, I’ll respond with ‘I’m fine, thanks’.
I understand with strangers, we don’t want to respond with ‘I’m doing awful, but thanks for asking’. Although I wonder if it’s family or friends asking how you are doing, if we took a pause and answered honestly, how would that open up your relationship with the other person? If it’s someone whom you trust and you know cares for you, why is it so hard to answer honestly?
From time to time, when someone asks, ‘how you are or how’s life?’, especially when it's family or friends, I often find myself reflecting afterwards when I've responded with generic answers about how I am really doing and why I'm not sharing the truth. I get it, it’s uncomfortable and vulnerable.
We don’t want to feel like we are burdening the other person, or we are comparing our pain and sorrows to the other person, so we hold back. However, I wonder if sometimes we just answer unapologetically honestly. I wonder if it would feel like the weight was lifted off your shoulders or you get the validation and support you are looking for.
It's too easy in life to walk around wearing a mask and pretending that everything is okay. It’s harder, but feels better to just be honest with your feelings when the right person asks, how are you?
Have you ever had afterthoughts when someone has asked how you are, and you wish you had responded with the truth? Share below!